A to Z SNARKY POLITICAL DEFINITIONS

VoxFairfax offers this handy dictionary reference for readers and visitors seeking alternative expressions of political and cultural ideas and concepts in their writing and conversation. Submit your entries to the editors. A to Z will be updated as new entries are received and approved.

 

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Acostacision – covert plea deal struck for wealthy pedophile

Alabamamyelitis – recently discovered mental dissociative disorder causing manic and multiple Twitter communications as expression of being correct; epidemiologists suspect cause is linked to exposure to dyes and alcohol-laced fluids in Sharpie markers.

Barrista – DOJ apparatchik dedicated to ensuring that the King is not seen without clothes

Bidenation – an ancient civilization recently unearthed which archeologists claim had a thriving civic culture and wise leadership.

Boltonize – process of converting traditional diplomacy into physical contact sport

Buttigiegcream – refreshing malt shoppe retro-treat seeking traction and relevance in contemporary politics.

Circular Firing Squad – permanent oxymoronic quality of management and leadership within the National Rifle Association originated by its former president, Oliver North, and perfected by its CEO, Wayne LaPierre

Cohensible – cognitive quality related to generally held incredible and credible wrongdoings by a president

Concentration Camp – initiative sponsored by ICE for innovative, non-bilingual educational organization conducted by for-profits to provide citizenship courses for asylum seekers

Contempt – disorder of the nervous system related to “mad cow disease” evincing symptoms of fantasy scenarios of coups d’etat, fifth columnists, civil wars, and visions of deep state antagonists under beds and concealed in rose bushes; the condition is known to cause paranoia and muddied judgment

Conwaying – gerund denoting marital differences of opinion publicly displayed

Coochocracy – country where arrogance and insolence govern civic culture and discussion, and in which no poor or jobless or Irish or Italian ethnics–citizens or not–need apply for anything

COWGUYS – Christian Older White Guys who formerly ruled the United States until slaves, women, and 18-year-olds became eligible to vote; sometimes used to characterize the voting bloc to build the border wall.

Crimea and Ukraine – provinces of Russia depicted on White House and Kremlin maps

Deep State – mythological kingdom or netherworld populated with creatures dangerous to colluders, conspirators, liars, obstructionists, and misogynists

DeVosion – idolatrous commitment to non-public education

Donerickill – urban version of roadkill, particularly that thrown deliberately under a bus

Emolument – monetary system for corrupt officials replacing gold standard

Fake Crimes – category of criminal law to be ascribed to contents of report by Robert Mueller; see also Fake News

Fake news – all media utterances not vetted by Sean Hannity

Federal Reserve – a remote public land trust where buffalo with names such as Herman Cain and Stephen Moore may roam.

Flynnectomy – surgical excision of diseased material threatening widespread infection or collapse of an organization

Foreign Oppo – good stuff from abroad, often loved in the US, subject to neither tariffs nor safety/environmental regulations, and usually poisonous to the electoral process.

Gingrichery – politically persistent pest once deemed permanently exterminated but sighted occasionally in fetid commentary

High Crimes and Misdemeanors – official conduct as measured by total number of lies issued while in office; see also Fake Crimes

Ideology – a pseudonym for causation, e.g., mental health and mass shootings, often used by conservatives to characterize events for which they are not responsible

Javanka –  non-military transgender presidential policy adviser

Kamalaramalamadingdong – skillful melding of inane doo-wop lyrics and politics

Lewandowskin – epidermal protection for prevarication that shrivels in light of truth

MAGA – acronym for Make All Geese American as counterpoint to unfair trade practices used by Canada

Manafortia – state of psychological delusion marked by lows of lying and highs of pardon fantasies

Mar-a-Lago – also known as MAL, its code assigned by the International Air Transport Association; ‘mal” derives from the Latin root meaning evil [e.g. , malice]; MAL is often a euphemism for a meeting location for ignorant ideologues or dubiously wealthy individuals

McConnellistan – primitive, undeveloped tundra-like plain inhospitable to most life forms except the Mongolian box turtle

McGahnifest – material, easily and readily perceived, particularly in the Mueller report, as credible but as a lie to some.

Mexico – sinister, fabled realm of undesirable inhabitants in North American mythology and folklore capable of undertaking massive architectural projects in distant lands

Money Laundering – process for producing sanitized, germ-free, see-though and invisible currency not amenable to tax returns; see Deutsche Bank

Mueller – stubborn, uncontrollable government employee or adversary pronounced “muler” and likely a citizen of the deep state

Mulvaneying – practice of issuing official, misleading statements while wearing different hats to avoid attribution

National Debt – The aggregate amount of money a nation of taxpayers owes; correlatively, nontaxpayers owe nothing.

Pelosiphobia – mental disorder or dysfunction resulting from tidal wave phenomenon

Pencemanhood – state of suspended animation requiring plastered smile and toadying conduct usually cloaked in religious fervor

Perryogram (or Carsonogram) – intelligence quotient measures applied in zero G gravity applying to government agency management

Poltermccain – physically, mentally, and emotionally disturbing spectral figure that may
appear around the globe to haunt its nemesis.

Pompeosity – tenor of foreign policies at which foreign governments chuckle or remain silent

Pre-existing condition – plank in political party platform designed to induce amnesia among voters; slogan of sound and fury signifying nothing

Priebusness – appearance of busyness or preoccupation while remaining perfectly still 

Pruittigation – act or process of substituting ignorance for knowledge while in a soundproofed enclosure 

Putinesque – description of a nation’s foreign policy resembling rationality but chaotic in fact

QPQ – (pronounced kew pee kew), acronym for quid pro quo, generally employed to mean “something exchanged for something”; QPQ has been misinterpreted or misapplied by some to mean nothing for nothing, or a nothingburger, to minimize political stupidity. 

Recusal – a rare ethical determination occasionally fatal to officials with a southern drawl

Religion – a worshiper’s belief that he/she and god are morally justified to discriminate against all others.

Rudymentary – fiction of apparent legal principle arising from online scholarship or clickbait

Ryanometrics – failed trickle down economic theory often developing in childhood, sometimes following the reading of Ayn Rand

Sandership – tactic of deflecting conversation or question from the purpose of the speaker or inquisitor;  sometimes also employed as synonym for snarling insult

Scaramuccillini – sphincter shaped pasta noodle subject to extremely short shelf life

Schitt – persistently and consistently annoying Democrat

Sessionsness – split loyalty or personality state similar to bipolar political disorder

Spicerup – emphatic or declarative statement generally concluded with “period” asserting an alternative fact

Stable Genius – a farm animal, often equine with room and board, unaware of and unable to recognize it is a horse’s ass.

Swampton – mythological jurisdictional homeland where the blood of taxpayers is drained on a daily basis

Tariff – economic weapon employed generally in trade wars, which tests the tolerance of participants for self-injury; see Trade War

Trade War – hostile economic conflict between or among nations as an alternative to suicide; see Tariff

Twitter – Messaging system by which twits can mangle spelling and the English language to pass ignorance along to large numbers

Trumpsplaining – communications characterized by deflection and falsehoods usually in response to factual question or inquiry

Truth is Not Truth – new motto for the United States intended to replace E Pluribus Unum and In God We Trust

Voter – one who cannot be trusted to do the right thing in an election in North Carolina without gerrymandering

Voter Fraud – defensive phrase employed by right wing advocates failing to understand or accepting  electoral results

Whistleblower – avian species [genus from the Latin Lockethemupus] indigenous to the Deep State marked by its signature mating call trilling: Who me lie? Who me lie?; bird watchers report that  flocks of whistleblowers on the wing resemble red baseball caps, especially when sunlight strikes their cardinal plumage.

Warrenosophy – branch of political science encompassing all answers to human problems

Whitakeritis – medical condition caused by extreme fawning

Zinkelandia – government or publicly owned land including national parks slated for transfer to private ownership