A to Z SNARKY POLITICAL DEFINITIONS

VoxFairfax offers this handy dictionary reference for readers and visitors seeking alternative expressions of political and cultural ideas and concepts in their writing and conversation. Submit your entries to the editors. A to Z will be updated as new entries are received and approved.

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Acostacision – covert plea deal struck for wealthy pedophile.

Adhocracy – Infield bloop.

Alabamamyelitis – recently discovered mental dissociative disorder causing manic and multiple Twitter communications as expression of being correct; epidemiologists suspect cause is linked to exposure to dyes and alcohol-laced fluids in Sharpie markers.

Amazonadelphia – The latest state jurisdiction created within the continental US and formed from the merger of several northern Virginia counties and the national capital, the District of Columbia; its name was selected by votes of millions using Amazon Prime, Alexa, and Ring products, and in recognition of the presence of the global retailer in Virginia. 

Americhismo – Exaggerated or faux show of masculinity in political dialogue; symptoms often are vicious Twitter posts aimed at personal characteristics; deliberately ignoring historical values and traditions, e.g. honoring the military on Memorial Day.

Assassination – murderous foreign policy strategy propelled from a double-barreled posterior (ass, ass) view of diplomacy, prompted by fear of emasculation and rejection at the polls. 

BarristaDOJ apparatchik dedicated to ensuring that the King is not seen without clothes

Bidenation – an ancient civilization recently unearthed which archeologists claim had a thriving civic culture and wise leadership.

Birxation – process of metamorphosis of scientific mind into political spoxperson.

Boltonize – process of converting traditional diplomacy into physical contact sport

Buttigiegcream – refreshing malt shoppe retro-treat seeking traction and relevance in contemporary politics.

Camdenic – a widespread craze crossing jurisdictional boundaries causing wholesale restructuring of law enforcement organizations thought to have incubated in New Jersey.

Circular Firing Squad – permanent oxymoronic quality of management and leadership within the National Rifle Association originated by its former president, Oliver North, and perfected by its CEO, Wayne LaPierre

Cohensible – cognitive quality related to generally held incredible and credible wrongdoings by a president

Concentration Camp – initiative sponsored by ICE for innovative, non-bilingual educational organization conducted by for-profits to provide citizenship courses for asylum seekers

Contempt – disorder of the nervous system related to “mad cow disease” evincing symptoms of fantasy scenarios of coups d’etat, fifth columnists, civil wars, and visions of deep state antagonists under beds and concealed in rose bushes; the condition is known to cause paranoia and muddied judgment

Conwaying – gerund denoting marital differences of opinion publicly displayed

Coochocracy – country where arrogance and insolence govern civic culture and discussion, and in which no poor or jobless or Irish or Italian ethnics–citizens or not–need apply for anything

Corruption – once a harbinger of electoral danger, the term has achieved reconstitution as a meaningful behavior for conducting business.

Covert corporocracy system under which corporate welfare is protected above that of consumers in government regulatory actions.

COWGUYSChristian Older White Guys who formerly ruled the United States until slaves, women, and 18-year-olds became eligible to vote; sometimes used to characterize the voting bloc to build the border wall.

Crimea and Ukraine – provinces of Russia depicted on White House and Kremlin maps

Deep State mythological kingdom or netherworld populated with creatures dangerous to colluders, conspirators, liars, obstructionists, and misogynists.

Dei ex machina (Latin; English, gods from a machine) — a plot device crafted by Speaker Pelosi enabling two Johns to appear suddenly to resolve a seemingly unsolvable problem confronting the tribunal of Senators charged with judging Donald Caesar.

DeJoy – celebratory emotion of mail-in voters following restoration of mail boxes.

Demon seed – spermatazoa (Greek for sperma or seed) believed to contain DNA capable of transmitting political wisdom and insight; currently in trial tests at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.   

DeVosion – idolatrous commitment to non-public education

DOJ – formerly Department of Justice, renamed Department of Juice under President Trump to reflect his personal views on prosecutions and sentencing.  

Donerickill – urban version of roadkill, particularly that thrown deliberately under a bus

Egonomicseven more dismal than economics, it is narrowly focused on how external events over which we have no control make us feel about ourselves, and ​a​ffect our behaviors in ways intended to nurture our fragile egos​. ​This President appears to be an architect of the science​,​ perhaps along with the GOP.  

Emolument – monetary system for corrupt officials replacing gold standard

Fake Crimes – category of criminal law to be ascribed to contents of report by Robert Mueller; see also Fake News

Fake news – all media utterances not vetted by Sean Hannity

Faucifist – medical scientist unable to interpret political desires or wishes into sound bites

Federal Reserve – a remote public land trust where buffalo with names such as Herman Cain and Stephen Moore may roam.

Flynnectomy – surgical excision of diseased material threatening widespread infection or collapse of an organization

Foreign Oppo – good stuff from abroad, often loved in the US, subject to neither tariffs nor safety/environmental regulations, and usually poisonous to the electoral process.

Gingrichery – politically persistent pest once deemed permanently exterminated but sighted occasionally in fetid commentary

Gophistory – Use of fallacious political slogans to energize adherents; e.g., “I built the world’s greatest economy.”  
 
Gophology – Love of right wing theories exploited by Fox News, Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, et al. 
 
Gophoon – Prominent right wing spokesperson or leader, often communicating only by Twitter.
 

Gopopoly  A political warfare board game where gerrymander rules are unrestricted; red states are less populous, more rural without sanctuary cities, and well governed; and blue states are densely populated with many urban centers and sanctuary cities, poorly managed by Democrats.  

Herd Immunity – hypothesized medical theory that assumes that long-term immunity and viability of the surviving population of the larger group will result from systemic acquired resistance to a virus that requires a 70% positivity rate of infection of the herd; politically, P45’s base has achieved this goal.  

High Crimes and Misdemeanors – official conduct as measured by total number of lies issued while in office; see also Fake Crimes

Hydroxyclownoquine — drug therapy producing side effects such as cognitive impairment and hair loss among others; a regimen undertaken during a political campaign that produces fantasies of fraud, landslide wins, and popular approval. 

Ideology – a pseudonym for causation, e.g., mental health and mass shootings, often used by conservatives to characterize events for which they are not responsible.

Il Fauciata – tragicomic opera relating Machiavelli’s torment by humble physician.

Inherent Contempt – arises from either ignorance of or determination not to comply with congressional demands for documents or testimony; an aggressive form of the Fifth Amendment privilege.

Insanity Defense – ordinarily understood as a legal defense against culpability for an offense; the defense has spawned a corollary principle called absolute immunity, asserted on behalf of the President (not yet asserted for VP) from investigation or prosecution; legal scholars parse absolute immunity as an impenetrable bar to protect an insane or pathological executive during their term of office.

IBS, Irritable Barr Syndrome –  Idiotic Barr statements emanating from a legal universe visited only by the Starship Trumper. 

Javanka –  nonmilitary transgender presidential policy adviser.

Kakistocraphobia – morbid dread among citizens fearing incompetent leadership; this phobia became a widespread psychological pandemic in the presidential campaign of 2020; included in the amended Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders of the American Psychiatric Association.

Kamala – lotus in Sanskrit; Egyptian mythology regards the lotus as a symbol of rebirth and renewal; a lotus VP is consistent with American exceptionalism.  

Kamalaramalamadingdong – skillful melding of inane doo-wop lyrics and politics.

Kangaroo Court – judicial decision making body subject to neither procedural nor legal rules of jurisprudence; hearing officers or panels generally composed of members of the Democratic Party; term not likely of Australian origin but arose during the gold strikes of the 1870s. 

Lewandowskin – epidermal protection for prevarication that shrivels in light of truth

Maddowite – cult member of cable news viewers allergic to Sean Hannity

MAGA – acronym for Make All Geese American as counterpoint to unfair trade practices used by Canada

Manafortia – state of psychological delusion marked by lows of lying and highs of pardon fantasies

Mar-a-Lago – also known as MAL, its code assigned by the International Air Transport Association; ‘mal” derives from the Latin root meaning evil [e.g. , malice]; MAL is often a euphemism for a meeting location for ignorant ideologues or dubiously wealthy individuals

McConnellistan – primitive, undeveloped tundra-like plain inhospitable to most life forms except the Mongolian box turtle

McGahnifest – material, easily and readily perceived, particularly in the Mueller report, as credible but as a lie to some.

Mexico – sinister, fabled realm of undesirable inhabitants in North American mythology and folklore capable of undertaking massive architectural projects in distant lands

Money Laundering – process for producing sanitized, germ-free, see-though and invisible currency not amenable to tax returns; see Deutsche Bank

Monocracy  government rule by one person of all facets of national functioning, from diplomacy to military to writing checks to taking census data to press relations; such authority has been cited by P45 as arising from Article II of the Constitution, granting the power “to do whatever I want” (July 2019).  

Mueller – stubborn, uncontrollable government employee or adversary pronounced “muler” and likely a citizen of the deep state

Mulvaneying – practice of issuing official, misleading statements while wearing different hats to avoid attribution

National Debt – the aggregate amount of money a nation of taxpayers owes; correlatively, nontaxpayers owe nothing.

New South – portion of the continental US formerly below the Mason-Dixon line now confined to Alabama and Mississippi.

Obamaphobia – substantiated fear of failure by way of comparison to first class achievements and style of former POTUS.

Oops – reflexive invocation upon suspicion or recognition of a blunder of embarrassing magnitude; e.g., Wile E. Coyote holding a lit stick of dynamite.

P45 – reference code for a form used in Great Britain titled Details of Employee Leaving Work; in British and Irish slang, used as a metonym for being fired; in US, a code for the incumbent President.     

Pandemickery –  (1)an outbreak or widespread condition ​that threatens stockpiled safety materials deemed the property or possession of a single entity; for example Jared Kushner’s use of the term “ours;” ​(2)​ a series of incomprehensible, incoherent, and uninformative press conferences intended to calm the public. 

Pelosiphobia – mental disorder or dysfunction resulting from tidal wave phenomenon

Pelosity – (rhymes with velocity) the speed at which articles of impeachment are delivered, intended to create anxiety.

Pencemanhood – state of suspended animation requiring plastered smile and toadying conduct usually cloaked in religious fervor

Perryogram (or Carsonogram) – intelligence quotient measures applied in zero G gravity applying to government agency management

Pillow talk – intimate murmurings often of a religious or medical nature between MyPillow man and P45.    

Poltermccain – physically, mentally, and emotionally disturbing spectral figure that may
appear around the globe to haunt its nemesis.

Pompeosity – tenor of foreign policies at which foreign governments chuckle or remain silent

Pre-existing condition – plank in political party platform designed to induce amnesia among voters; slogan of sound and fury signifying nothing

Priebusness – appearance of busyness or preoccupation while remaining perfectly still 

Pruittigation – act or process of substituting ignorance for knowledge while in a soundproofed enclosure 

Putinesque – description of a nation’s foreign policy resembling rationality but chaotic in fact

QPQ – (pronounced kew pee kew), acronym for quid pro quo, generally employed to mean “something exchanged for something”; QPQ has been misinterpreted or misapplied by some to mean nothing for nothing, or a nothingburger, to minimize political stupidity 

Quarantine – insulation or isolation to avoid infection or transference of infection due to fatigue from p​residential statements

Recusal – a rare ethical determination occasionally fatal to officials with a southern drawl

Religion – a worshiper’s belief that he/she and god are morally justified to discriminate against all others.

(Roger) Stone Age – period or era of chaotic political upheaval marked by violent storms of public corruption guided by a criminal enterprise in the White House;

Rudymentary – fiction of apparent legal principle arising from online scholarship or clickbait

Ryanometrics – failed trickle down economic theory often developing in childhood, sometimes following the reading of Ayn Rand

Sandership – tactic of deflecting conversation or question from the purpose of the speaker or inquisitor;  sometimes also employed as synonym for snarling insult

Scaramuccillini – sphincter shaped pasta noodle subject to extremely short shelf life

Scaramuch – (scaramooch) the discrete, short-lived life span of a political phenomenon; e.g., Kanye West’s presidential campaign; tenure of WH Chief of Staff or Press Secretary.

Schitt – persistently and consistently annoying Democrat

Sessionsness – split loyalty or personality state similar to bipolar political disorder

Spicerup – emphatic or declarative statement generally concluded with “period” asserting an alternative fact

Stable Genius – a farm animal, often equine with room and board, unaware of and unable to recognize it is a horse’s ass.

S​uper Duper – sophisticated adjectival term used by stable geniuses to demonstrate deep, intense knowledge of advanced weaponry; favorite snack of P45.   

Swampton – mythological jurisdictional homeland where the blood of taxpayers is drained on a daily basis

Tariff – economic weapon employed generally in trade wars, which tests the tolerance of participants for self-injury; see Trade War

Testimony – the testicular, sometimes testosterone-laden, statements from oral and documentary sources intended to enlighten judicial decision making; except in cases of impeachment pursuant to Senate rules. 

Thugocracy  government where chief law enforcement officer similar to an interior minister commands a private militia force of unidentifiable persons to​ ​quell protests and create paths for photo ops.[with thanks to its author, Steve Schmidt]​

Trade War – hostile economic conflict between or among nations as an alternative to suicide; see Tariff

Trumpathy – physical or emotional disorder preventing an individual from experiencing the feelings or thoughts of others; e.g., folks serving in the military are losers or suckers, gaining nothing for themselves.   

Trumpence – a political dialect in which one statement is contradicted by another and then the latter contradicted subsequently ad nauseum; distinguish from the British two-penny coin or tuppence, two cents’ worth.

Trumpenkrieg – state of permanent political conflict immune to resolution; practice dynamics are characterized by continuous streams of falsehoods and incoherent claims of persecution and paranoia; rules of engagement are nonexistent in order to keep critics off guard.

Trumplighting​ – natural-gas powered from US sources, delusional, often false statements intended to fool all the people all the time; also special lighting effect to diminish orange skin tone during public appearances.   

Trumpsplaining – communications characterized by deflection and falsehoods usually in response to factual question or inquiry

Truth is Not Truth – new motto for the United States intended to replace E Pluribus Unum and In God We Trust

Twitter – Messaging system by which twits can mangle spelling and the English language to pass ignorance along to large numbers

Ukrainite – a newly discovered element to be entered on the periodic table as atomic number 45.2; its properties are similar to those of kryptonite’s effect upon Superman, causing Twitter storms and weakness of cognitive functioning, especially thought processes; the element’s discovery was announced by Vladimir Putin during a press conference.  

Unprecedented – not having ever occurred or appeared or happened previously, except on TV news, where the term is repeated and heard hourly to characterize statements and actions of this President or his allies; this repetitive and multiple usage is unprecedented, causing the term itself to be the norm; linguists estimate three generations must pass before unprecedented becomes again unprecedented. 

Useful idiot – usually an unwitting stooge defined in Russian propaganda and political theology as one repeating or acting upon Soviet interests; e.g., withdrawing troops from Germany and depleting NATO resources.

Useless idiot – former useful idiot no longer in elected office.

Voter – one who cannot be trusted to do the right thing in an election in North Carolina without gerrymandering

Voter Fraud – defensive phrase employed by right wing advocates failing to understand or accepting  electoral results

Whistleblower – avian species [genus from the Latin Lockethemupus] indigenous to the Deep State marked by its signature mating call trilling: Who me lie? Who me lie?; bird watchers report that  flocks of whistleblowers on the wing resemble red baseball caps, especially when sunlight strikes their cardinal plumage.

Warrenosophy – branch of political science encompassing all answers to human problems

West Virginian – One of a number of Virginia immigrants to the Mountaineer State who believes AR-15s are inalienable property possessions and a threat to that belief and grounds to “dissolve the political bands which connect them” with another state.

Whitakeritis – medical condition caused by extreme fawning

Zinkelandia – government or publicly owned land including national parks slated for transfer to private ownership