VoxFairfax offers this handy dictionary reference for readers and visitors seeking alternative expressions of political and cultural ideas and concepts in their writing and conversation. Submit your entries to the editors. A to Z will be updated as new entries are received and approved.
Acostacision – covert plea deal struck for wealthy pedophile
Adhocracy – Infield bloop
Alabamamyelitis – recently discovered mental dissociative disorder causing manic and multiple Twitter communications as expression of being correct; epidemiologists suspect cause is linked to exposure to dyes and alcohol-laced fluids in Sharpie markers.
Amazonadelphia – The latest state jurisdiction created within the continental US and formed from the merger of several northern Virginia counties and the national capital, the District of Columbia; its name was selected by votes of millions using Amazon Prime, Alexa, and Ring products, and in recognition of the presence of the global retailer in Virginia.
Assassination – murderous foreign policy strategy propelled from a double-barreled posterior (ass, ass) view of diplomacy, prompted by fear of emasculation and rejection at the polls.
Barrista – DOJ apparatchik dedicated to ensuring that the King is not seen without clothes
Bidenation – an ancient civilization recently unearthed which archeologists claim had a thriving civic culture and wise leadership.
Boltonize – process of converting traditional diplomacy into physical contact sport
Buttigiegcream – refreshing malt shoppe retro-treat seeking traction and relevance in contemporary politics.
Circular Firing Squad – permanent oxymoronic quality of management and leadership within the National Rifle Association originated by its former president, Oliver North, and perfected by its CEO, Wayne LaPierre
Cohensible – cognitive quality related to generally held incredible and credible wrongdoings by a president
Concentration Camp – initiative sponsored by ICE for innovative, non-bilingual educational organization conducted by for-profits to provide citizenship courses for asylum seekers
Contempt – disorder of the nervous system related to “mad cow disease” evincing symptoms of fantasy scenarios of coups d’etat, fifth columnists, civil wars, and visions of deep state antagonists under beds and concealed in rose bushes; the condition is known to cause paranoia and muddied judgment
Conwaying – gerund denoting marital differences of opinion publicly displayed
Coochocracy – country where arrogance and insolence govern civic culture and discussion, and in which no poor or jobless or Irish or Italian ethnics–citizens or not–need apply for anything
Corruption – once a harbinger of electoral danger, the term has achieved reconstitution as a meaningful behavior for conducting business.
Covert corporocracy – system under which corporate welfare is protected above that of consumers in government regulatory actions.
COWGUYS – Christian Older White Guys who formerly ruled the United States until slaves, women, and 18-year-olds became eligible to vote; sometimes used to characterize the voting bloc to build the border wall.
Crimea and Ukraine – provinces of Russia depicted on White House and Kremlin maps
Deep State – mythological kingdom or netherworld populated with creatures dangerous to colluders, conspirators, liars, obstructionists, and misogynists.
Dei ex machina (Latin; English, gods from a machine) — a plot device crafted by Speaker Pelosi enabling two Johns to appear suddenly to resolve a seemingly unsolvable problem confronting the tribunal of Senators charged with judging Donald Caesar.
DeVosion – idolatrous commitment to non-public education
DOJ – formerly Department of Justice, renamed Department of Juice under President Trump to reflect his personal views on prosecutions and sentencing.
Donerickill – urban version of roadkill, particularly that thrown deliberately under a bus
Emolument – monetary system for corrupt officials replacing gold standard
Fake Crimes – category of criminal law to be ascribed to contents of report by Robert Mueller; see also Fake News
Fake news – all media utterances not vetted by Sean Hannity
Federal Reserve – a remote public land trust where buffalo with names such as Herman Cain and Stephen Moore may roam.
Flynnectomy – surgical excision of diseased material threatening widespread infection or collapse of an organization
Foreign Oppo – good stuff from abroad, often loved in the US, subject to neither tariffs nor safety/environmental regulations, and usually poisonous to the electoral process.
Gingrichery – politically persistent pest once deemed permanently exterminated but sighted occasionally in fetid commentary
High Crimes and Misdemeanors – official conduct as measured by total number of lies issued while in office; see also Fake Crimes
Ideology – a pseudonym for causation, e.g., mental health and mass shootings, often used by conservatives to characterize events for which they are not responsible
Inherent Contempt – arises from either ignorance of or determination not to comply with congressional demands for documents or testimony; an aggressive form of the Fifth Amendment privilege.
Insanity Defense – ordinarily understood as a legal defense against culpability for an offense; the defense has spawned a corollary principle called absolute immunity, asserted on behalf of the President (not yet asserted for VP) from investigation or prosecution; legal scholars parse absolute immunity as an impenetrable bar to protect an insane or pathological executive during their term of office.
Javanka – non-military transgender presidential policy adviser
Kamalaramalamadingdong – skillful melding of inane doo-wop lyrics and politics
Kangaroo Court – judicial decision making body subject to neither procedural nor legal rules of jurisprudence; hearing officers or panels generally composed of members of the Democratic Party; term not likely of Australian origin but arose during the gold strikes of the 1870s.
Lewandowskin – epidermal protection for prevarication that shrivels in light of truth
Maddowite – cult member of cable news viewers allergic to Sean Hannity
MAGA – acronym for Make All Geese American as counterpoint to unfair trade practices used by Canada
Manafortia – state of psychological delusion marked by lows of lying and highs of pardon fantasies
Mar-a-Lago – also known as MAL, its code assigned by the International Air Transport Association; ‘mal” derives from the Latin root meaning evil [e.g. , malice]; MAL is often a euphemism for a meeting location for ignorant ideologues or dubiously wealthy individuals
McConnellistan – primitive, undeveloped tundra-like plain inhospitable to most life forms except the Mongolian box turtle
McGahnifest – material, easily and readily perceived, particularly in the Mueller report, as credible but as a lie to some.
Mexico – sinister, fabled realm of undesirable inhabitants in North American mythology and folklore capable of undertaking massive architectural projects in distant lands
Money Laundering – process for producing sanitized, germ-free, see-though and invisible currency not amenable to tax returns; see Deutsche Bank
Mueller – stubborn, uncontrollable government employee or adversary pronounced “muler” and likely a citizen of the deep state
Mulvaneying – practice of issuing official, misleading statements while wearing different hats to avoid attribution
National Debt – the aggregate amount of money a nation of taxpayers owes; correlatively, nontaxpayers owe nothing.
Obamaphobia – substantiated fear of failure by way of comparison to first class achievements and style of former POTUS.
Oops – reflexive invocation upon suspicion or recognition of a blunder of embarrassing magnitude; e.g., Wile E. Coyote holding a lit stick of dynamite.
Pelosiphobia – mental disorder or dysfunction resulting from tidal wave phenomenon
Pelosity – (rhymes with velocity) the speed at which articles of impeachment are delivered, intended to create anxiety.
Pencemanhood – state of suspended animation requiring plastered smile and toadying conduct usually cloaked in religious fervor
Perryogram (or Carsonogram) – intelligence quotient measures applied in zero G gravity applying to government agency management
Poltermccain – physically, mentally, and emotionally disturbing spectral figure that may
appear around the globe to haunt its nemesis.
Pompeosity – tenor of foreign policies at which foreign governments chuckle or remain silent
Pre-existing condition – plank in political party platform designed to induce amnesia among voters; slogan of sound and fury signifying nothing
Priebusness – appearance of busyness or preoccupation while remaining perfectly still
Pruittigation – act or process of substituting ignorance for knowledge while in a soundproofed enclosure
Putinesque – description of a nation’s foreign policy resembling rationality but chaotic in fact
QPQ – (pronounced kew pee kew), acronym for quid pro quo, generally employed to mean “something exchanged for something”; QPQ has been misinterpreted or misapplied by some to mean nothing for nothing, or a nothingburger, to minimize political stupidity.
Recusal – a rare ethical determination occasionally fatal to officials with a southern drawl
Religion – a worshiper’s belief that he/she and god are morally justified to discriminate against all others.
Rudymentary – fiction of apparent legal principle arising from online scholarship or clickbait
Ryanometrics – failed trickle down economic theory often developing in childhood, sometimes following the reading of Ayn Rand
Sandership – tactic of deflecting conversation or question from the purpose of the speaker or inquisitor; sometimes also employed as synonym for snarling insult
Scaramuccillini – sphincter shaped pasta noodle subject to extremely short shelf life
Schitt – persistently and consistently annoying Democrat
Sessionsness – split loyalty or personality state similar to bipolar political disorder
Spicerup – emphatic or declarative statement generally concluded with “period” asserting an alternative fact
Stable Genius – a farm animal, often equine with room and board, unaware of and unable to recognize it is a horse’s ass.
Swampton – mythological jurisdictional homeland where the blood of taxpayers is drained on a daily basis
Tariff – economic weapon employed generally in trade wars, which tests the tolerance of participants for self-injury; see Trade War
Testimony – the testicular, sometimes testosterone-laden, statements from oral and documentary sources intended to enlighten judicial decision making; except in cases of impeachment pursuant to Senate rules.
Trade War – hostile economic conflict between or among nations as an alternative to suicide; see Tariff
Trumpenkrieg – state of permanent political conflict immune to resolution; practice dynamics are characterized by continuous streams of falsehoods and incoherent claims of persecution and paranoia; rules of engagement are nonexistent in order to keep critics off guard.
Trumpsplaining – communications characterized by deflection and falsehoods usually in response to factual question or inquiry
Truth is Not Truth – new motto for the United States intended to replace E Pluribus Unum and In God We Trust
Twitter – Messaging system by which twits can mangle spelling and the English language to pass ignorance along to large numbers
Ukrainite – a newly discovered element to be entered on the periodic table as atomic number 45.2; its properties are similar to those of kryptonite’s effect upon Superman, causing Twitter storms and weakness of cognitive functioning, especially thought processes; the element’s discovery was announced by Vladimir Putin during a press conference.
Unprecedented – not having ever occurred or appeared or happened previously, except on TV news, where the term is repeated and heard hourly to characterize statements and actions of this President or his allies; this repetitive and multiple usage is unprecedented, causing the term itself to be the norm; linguists estimate three generations must pass before unprecedented becomes again unprecedented.
Voter – one who cannot be trusted to do the right thing in an election in North Carolina without gerrymandering
Voter Fraud – defensive phrase employed by right wing advocates failing to understand or accepting electoral results
Whistleblower – avian species [genus from the Latin Lockethemupus] indigenous to the Deep State marked by its signature mating call trilling: Who me lie? Who me lie?; bird watchers report that flocks of whistleblowers on the wing resemble red baseball caps, especially when sunlight strikes their cardinal plumage.
Warrenosophy – branch of political science encompassing all answers to human problems
West Virginian – One of a number of Virginia immigrants to the Mountaineer State who believes AR-15s are inalienable property possessions and a threat to that belief and grounds to “dissolve the political bands which connect them” with another state.
Whitakeritis – medical condition caused by extreme fawning
Zinkelandia – government or publicly owned land including national parks slated for transfer to private ownership