How Philadelphia Cream Cheese Took Over the World | Bon AppétitTo a few, the term “cheesecake” evokes portrayal of women in suggestive poses and clothing emphasizing sexuality. The media has not covered the effects of COVID upon the availability of this genre of cheesecake but has been waxing prodigiously about the shortage of cream cheese on grocery shelves and the effects of that supply chain chink upon the traditional Christmas and holiday availability of cheesecake.

Commentators have focused upon the shortage of labor and delivery difficulties with the main ingredient – cream cheese. It will not be long before one may expect that the president or his press secretary will be queried as to what steps the federal government plans to take to fix the problem. Fox News has also not yet commented that the administration’s failure to address the matter is simply another progressive tactic in the cancel culture war against Christmas. Fox’s White House correspondent, Peter Doocy, is surely primed to inquire about the president’s plans personally to visit cream cheese production facilities and comfort beleaguered workers.

The most well-known producer is, of course, Philadelphia Cream Cheese (PCC), a subsidiary of the Kraft Heinz conglomerate. The spoiler alert is that a majority shareholder in Kraft Heinz is Teresa Heinz, the wife of John Kerry. That tidbit satisfies the criterion of the QAnon influencers regarding the appetite of Democrats to control the populace.

PCC, in a measure of appeasing consumers, has initiated an offer of a $20 digital credit for folks who sign up online, providing a receipt from a vendor specifying purchase of a qualifying dessert. The credit will be limited to 18,000 submissions. The promotion, unfortunately, has been accompanied by some PR puffery that resembles the purest drivel. One example: “This year, turn that famous cheesecake into those famous brownies. … Share some cookies, anything that will make you feel anything in that cheesecake-shaped hole in your holiday heart.” Another spot burped: “We’re excited to share that we’re investing millions of dollars so Philadelphia cream cheese will be available to anyone that [sic] wants it, wherever they like to shop, for the next 150 years and beyond.”

Only in America can such trivialization consume media attention and support crass consumerism in the face of an actual supply shortage of cream cheese.

Only in America can such trivialization consume media attention and support crass consumerism in the face of an actual supply shortage of cream cheese. The PCC promotion is titled “Spread the Feeling,” resplendent with its own website, which confers ultimate legitimacy.

The Christmas and New Year’s holiday season generally is not marked with too great a measure of stupidity but commercial pressures and sales competition know no boundaries and someone, somewhere, sometime breaks the mold. This one involves cheesecake. PCC’s YouTube video asserts that its promotion is “not an empty shelf, it’s a holiday tradition waiting another year.” Oy vey iz mir! Hopefully, the Biden administration’s broader efforts to iron out the supply chain kinks relieve the nation’s baking populace from the cream cheese variant of threats to its life style.

As more and more information concerning the existence of a broad plan culminating in the January 6th Capitol invasion emerges, it is something of a relief to be distracted into worrying about the cream cheese shortage. The moral equivalency of the loss of democracy and that of cheesecake during the holiday season are of equal import. Of course, were the availability of cheesecake photos or films threatened, the howl from the male species would reverse that supply shortage in a pulse beat.

BTW, cheesecake addicts and aficionados, the hands down best is made by S & S Cheesecake in the Bronx. Makes Junior’s seem a poor standard. Try it, you’ll love it.




Categories: cultural icons, Issues, National

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