Beyond Our Border

Editors’ Note: VoxFairfax seeks to supplement the geographical view of our features Around the Novahood and Beyond the Novahood by introducing a new feature intended as a reminder that, beyond the Commonwealth, there exists another universe of events of interest. Many of these arrive as matters that sometimes strain credibility and reason. Please welcome Beyond Our Border. 

ALABAMA

The Alabama legislature has decided to repeal a 28-year-old ban on the teaching of yoga in schools. The prohibition arose in response to fears of connection to Eastern religions. There is no indication that the teaching of geography may also be under scrutiny since Christianity, most would agree, originated well east of the United States and Alabama. State officials assure residents that this change is not related to the Sharpie forecast by the former president that drew hurricanes threatening the coast of the Cotton State. 

KENTUCKY

The Kentucky legislature adopted a measure making it a misdemeanor to use bad or offensive language as an insult against police officers.  Offenders could be jailed for 90 days. It may take some time for SCOTUS to weigh in on this matter. In the meantime, it might have been instructive for the legislators to have obtained a video of the song in West Side Story serenading Officer Krupke by the two street gangs, the Jets and Sharks.

Dear kindly Sergeant Krupke

You gotta understand

It’s just our bringing up-ke

That gets us out of hand

Our mothers all are junkies

Our fathers all are drunks

Golly Moses naturally we’re punks!

OKLAHOMA

Diabetes received a very bad rap from a high school sports announcer who blamed the disease for his outburst against a local young women’s basketball team that knelt during the national anthem. The recorded snippet included calling the team members b*****s and ranting that he wished they would lose the game. Hopefully, the American Diabetes Association weighs in to comment and, perhaps, convince the broadcaster to appear in public service announcements. Other observers offered that it might have been more effective or acceptable to have claimed that the outburst related to a temporary bout of Tourette’s syndrome.



Categories: Beyond our Borders, FREE SPEECH, Issues, National, police, politics

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