A to Z Snarky Political Definitions

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The English language is a wonderful gift, especially as it evolves and ascribes more and more subtleties to accepted words and terms. This dynamic is a hallmark of political dialogue.  Here are the annual entries by VoxFairax.

Acostacision – covert plea deal struck for wealthy pedophile

Barrista – DOJ apparatchik dedicated to ensuring that the King is not seen without clothes

Boltonize – process of converting traditional diplomacy into physical contact sport

Circular Firing Squad – permanent oxymoronic quality of management and leadership within the National Rifle Association originated by its former president, Oliver North, and perfected by its CEO, Wayne LaPierre

Cohensible – cognitive quality related to generally held incredible and credible wrongdoings by a president
Concentration Camp – initiative sponsored by ICE for innovative, non-bilingual educational organization conducted by for-profits to provide citizenship courses for asylum seekers

Conwaying – gerund denoting marital differences of opinion publicly displayed

COWGUYS – Christian Older White Guys who formerly ruled the United States until slaves, women, and 18-year-olds became eligible to vote; sometimes used to characterize the voting bloc to build the border wall.

Crimea and Ukraine – provinces of Russia depicted on White House and Kremlin maps

Deep State – mythological kingdom or netherworld populated with creatures dangerous to colluders, conspirators, liars, obstructionists, and misogynists

Deutsche Bank – financial institution managed by host of blindfolded personnel to act as conduit for criminal oligarchs and US presidents; see money laundering

Donerickill – urban version of roadkill, particularly that thrown deliberately under a bus

Emolument – monetary system for corrupt officials replacing gold standard

Fake Crimes – category of criminal law to be ascribed to contents of report by Robert Mueller; see also Fake News

Fake News – all media utterances not vetted by Sean Hannity

Federal Reserve – a remote public land trust where buffalo with names such as Herman Cain and Stephen Moore may roam.

Foreign Oppo – good stuff from abroad, often loved in the US, subject to neither tariffs nor safety/environmental regulations, and usually poisonous to the electoral process. 

Flynnectomy – surgical excision of diseased material threatening widespread infection or collapse of an organization

Javanka –  non-military transgender presidential policy adviser 

High Crimes and Misdemeanors – official conduct as measured by total number of lies issued while in office; see also Fake Crimes

MAGA – acronym for Make All Geese American as counterpoint to unfair trade practices used by Canada

Manafortia – state of psychological delusion marked by lows of lying and highs of pardon fantasies

Mar-a-Lago – also known as MAL, its code assigned by the International Air Transport Association; ‘mal” derives from the Latin root meaning evil [e.g. , malice]; MAL is often a euphemism for a meeting location for ignorant ideologues or dubiously wealthy individuals

McConnellistan – primitive, undeveloped tundra-like plain inhospitable to most life forms except the Mongolian box turtle

McGahnifest – material, easily and readily perceived, particularly in the Mueller report, as credible but as a lie to some.

 

Mexico – sinister, fabled realm of undesirable inhabitants in North American mythology and folklore capable of undertaking massive architectural projects in distant lands

Money Laundering – process for producing sanitized, germ-free, see-though and invisible currency not amenable to tax returns; see Deutsche Bank

Mueller – stubborn, uncontrollable government employee or adversary pronounced “muler” and likely a citizen of the deep state

Mulvaneying – practice of issuing official, misleading  statements while wearing different hats to avoid attribution

National Debt – The aggregate amount of money a nation of taxpayers owes; correlatively, nontaxpayers owe nothing.

Pelosiphobia – mental disorder or dysfunction resulting from tidal wave phenomenon

Pencemanhood – state of suspended animation requiring plastered smile and toadying conduct usually cloaked in religious fervor

Perryogram (or Carsonogram) – intelligence quotient measures applied in zero G gravity applying to government agency management

Poltermccain – physically, mentally, and emotionally disturbing spectral figure that may

appear around the globe to haunt its nemesis.

Pompeosity – tenor of foreign policies at which foreign governments chuckle or remain silent

Pre-existing condition – (1) plank in political party platform designed to induce amnesia among voters; slogan of sound and fury signifying nothing; (2) GOP plan restoring health care coverage that existed prior to the Affordable Care Act

Priebusness – appearance of busyness or preoccupation while remaining perfectly still 

Pruittigation – act or process of substituting ignorance for knowledge while in a soundproofed enclosure 

Putinesque – description of a nation’s foreign policy resembling rationality but chaotic in fact

Recusal – a rare ethical determination occasionally fatal to officials with a southern drawl

Religion – a worshiper’s belief that he/she and god are morally justified to discriminate against all others.

Rudymentary – fiction of apparent legal principle arising from online scholarship or clickbait

Ryanometrics – failed trickle down economic theory often developing in childhood, sometimes following the reading of Ayn Rand

Sandersassertion  political campaigning tactic employing slogans and repetition

Sandership – tactic of deflecting conversation or question from the purpose of the speaker or inquisitor;  sometimes also employed as synonym for snarling insult

Scaramuccillini – sphincter shaped pasta noodle subject to extremely short shelf life

Schitt – persistently and consistently annoying Democrat

Sessionsness – split loyalty or personality state similar to bipolar political disorder

Spicerup – emphatic or declarative statement generally concluded with “period” asserting an alternative fact

Stable Genius – a farm animal, often equine with room and board, unaware of and unable to recognize it is a horse’s ass.

Swampton – mythological jurisdictional homeland where the blood of taxpayers is drained on a daily basis

Tariff – economic weapon employed generally in trade wars, which tests the tolerance of participants for self-injury; see Trade War
Trade War – hostile economic conflict between or among nations as an alternative to suicide; see Tariff

Trumpsplaining – communications characterized by deflection and falsehoods usually in response to factual question or inquiry

Truth is not truth – phrase proposed to replace E Pluribus Unum and In God We Trust

Twitter – Messaging system by which twits can mangle spelling and the English language to pass ignorance along to large numbers  

Voter – one who cannot be trusted to do the right thing in an election in North Carolina  

Voter Fraud – defensive phrase employed by right wing advocates failing to understand or accepting  electoral results

Warrenosophy – branch of political science encompassing all answers to human problems

Whitakeritis – medical condition caused by extreme fawning

Zinkelandia – government or publicly owned land including national parks slated for transfer to private ownership

 

 

 

 



Categories: Issues, National

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